if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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