when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Randomize
