Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Randomize
