Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize