i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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