C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
Thank you for not boning my boss.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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