Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
