Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
this hospital has no fireball
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
