Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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