Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
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