she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Randomize
