so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Randomize
