mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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