I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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