why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
Randomize
