i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
Randomize
