you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
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