hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
