They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
I can't put those talents on a resume
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
Randomize
