Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
