We're facebook friends in real life
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
