This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Randomize
