Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
Randomize
