Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
Randomize
