My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
Randomize
