I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
