NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
Randomize
