man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
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