Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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