M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Randomize
