im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
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