I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
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