Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Randomize
