yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
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