how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
