so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize
