I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
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