oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
Randomize
