you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
