apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Randomize
