that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Randomize