I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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