It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
I think a kid would responsible me up
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Randomize
