Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
