Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
Randomize
