dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
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