it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
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