Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize