We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
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