Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
Randomize