Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
