grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
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