Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Randomize
