it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
People with herpes should wear stickers.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
