do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
I am naked and annoyed.
I see more hoeing in ur future
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