Having a random hookup so left but love u
fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
Randomize
