I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
