i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
I think my nap took me to another dimension
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
