i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Randomize