I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
